Kidnapping Mr. Heineken

"If Tom Cruise’s American-sounding German pissed you off in Valkyrie, then you’re going to have a full-blown migraine in this true crime tale led by Jim Sturgess and Sam Worthington playing American-Australian Dutch kidnappers. In fairness, it was probably smarter for the stars to stick to their native tongue than to risk Worthington embarrassing himself with a botched accent. The movie itself isn’t an embarrassment either, but it’s not worth the price of a ticket."

"About as appealing as day-old beer littered with cigarette butts..."

"Not every crime deserves its own movie."

"It’s hard to see exactly what the filmmakers were going for, beyond bringing a real-life story to the big screen as dutifully and dully as possible."

"It's the kidnappers you're meant to care about, but you'll more likely find yourself rooting for Anthony Hopkins as the victim..."

"By the time the relatively brief but seemingly interminable proceedings reach their conclusion, viewers may feel like they've been held hostage themselves."

"The low-key vibe of the film doesn't match the high-stakes audacity of the crime."