Hate. It’s a powerful word, intended to be used sparingly to describe a strong dislike or aversion to something. Many Americans hated Osama Bin Laden for masterminding mass murder. Many Libyans hated the late Muammar Gaddafi for his unapologetic stranglehold on the country. Many Welshmen hate Wayne Barnes for red carding a tackle that was so clearly a yellow card offense at best.
Then there’s internet hate, a hyperbolic mutation that covers a wide range of disdain from “that guy irks me a little” to “I hope he gets dick cancer.”
Internet hate is vague at best, and when it comes to actors, we sure love to visit those forums and express that vagueness. In this post, I’ll pin 8 actors to the dartboard of internet hatred and judge how justified we are in our distaste.
Michael Cera
Why everyone hates him:
He’s hipster royalty (if Youth In Revolt and Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist weren’t big enough giveaways), so that’s basis enough for some to spit in his obscure underground direction. We’ve also been so oversaturated with Cera to the point where his very presence is an annoyance. The pinnacle of this irritation hit with the oh-I-forgot-that-was-even-a-thing Year One.
Are we justified?
Not really.
So what if he’s a hipster? We shouldn’t despise someone based on their harmlessly ironic lifestyle. Yes, he should never have agreed to ride shotgun with Jack Black and he’s typecast into the same socially awkward yeah-dude-whatever role, but the guy’s comedic timing is faultless, despite his limited range. We really should drop the hate.
Then again, we’re meant to believe the characters this lanky twerp has played can nail female leads as fine-looking as Kat Dennings and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Dick.
Katherine Heigl
Why everyone hates her:
After the success of Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up, Heigl accused the film of being “a little sexist” in their portrayal of women. That’s a pretty heavy statement, one whose truth may or may not hold some ground. However, she follows up with The Ugly Truth, a seismic kick to the ovaries of feminism, and Killers, which is just all kinds of terrible. She seems only to continue her hypocritical trend with some poor knock-off of the already poor The Bounty Hunter.
Are we justified?
Yes.
We can forgive the odd ignorant throwaway line, but blatant hypocrites just aren’t cool.
Mel Gibson
Why everyone hates him:
To factually analyse where all the hatred for Mel derives from would take another blog post. However, let me condense the internet forum’s collective voice it into one sentence:
He’s a racist Jew-hating wife-beater.
Those are some strong labels, and it hurt a little when we discovered the charismatic badass lead to the Mad Max and Lethal Weapon films was being tagged with them.
Are we justified?
Yeah, kind of (definitely if you’re a black Jewish feminist).
Kevin James
Why everyone hates him:
Adam Sandler’s personal pop-n-fresh is an acquired taste (less in a caviar sense and more in a chocolate-covered quad-stacker bacon-and-bean cheese-crust burger burrito sense). A singular viewing of big Kev’s terrible TV show The King Of Queens is enough to encapsulate everything we hate about American sitcoms, and that goes with his brand of humour too.
This bleeds over to his inane filmography, from I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Grown Ups and his latest to be critically not acclaimed Zookeeper.
Are we justified?
Mmmmm…
It’s a tough one. The fact of the matter is that James’ band of humour, while completely thoughtless, does appeal to a sizeable (ha!) market. He’s not doing these films for us, so why should we hate him?
Then again, this dude plays a big role in the terrible films that patronise their audiences. Is it so hard to ask for jokes that go beyond “fatty fell on a popsicle”?
You know what? You can hate the guy. I’ll allow it.
Shia Labeouf
Why everyone hates him:
‘Cause he’s a dick.
I realise that’s not much of an explanation, but there’s not a whole lot more to it than that. Whether it be his numerous drink driving allegations or random acts of intoxicated violence (of which he gets his ass kicked),
Are we justified?
Yes. He’s a dick. Even Harrison Ford thinks he’s a fucking idiot. Moving on.
Kate Hudson
Why everyone hates her:
And we’re back to the typecasting situation. Kate Hudson is perhaps the biggest offender in this regard, being the singular mass that terrible rom-coms gravitate around. Raising Helen, You, Me and Dupree, Fool’s Gold, the recently terrible Something Borrowed, she hasn’t been hitting winners.
Are we justified?
No.
Again, she didn’t make these films, nor does she give a crap what anyone thinks about them. Clearly she’s in it for the economy-crippling pay check. Hell, if I were in her position, you better believe I’d make those god-awful atrocities for that moolah.
Robert Pattinson
Why everyone hates him:
Many would deem his stratospheric popularity unwarranted, or merely a consequent of physical attraction that eclipses a lack of talent. In other words, we’re jealous. And by we, I mainly mean dudes. It’s through this envy that we take delight in mocking the actor for playing the world’s most popular nancy-pire.
The rest of the hate simply stems from the hatred of Twilight and it’s butterfly-and-unicorn interpretations of vampire lore.
Are we justified?
No.
The dude didn’t create Twilight. He’s simply the delicious meat vessel the film uses sell itself to the carnivorous teen hoard. Is he the greatest actor on Earth? God no, but the dude’s trying (see Water For Elephants, he’s actually passable in that).
As for the masculine-centred jealousy, go cry in a steak sandwich.
Kristen Stewart
Why everyone hates her:
Aside from the Twilight label mentioned earlier, Stewart’s often been accused of having the acting range of a stoned botox addict, giving more logs to the roaring bonfire created by the twi-haters.
She also generated some negative buzz in an issue of British Elle, comparing her swarming paparazzi experiences to being raped. Did not think that one through.
Are we justified?
Yeah… nah…
She may not emote in the Twilight films, but don’t let that take away from her pretty decent back catalogue (Panic Room, The Runaways, Welcome To The Rileys). She’s allowed one sleepwalker.
And so what if she said a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid thing? Do we really need to hate on a person for one remark?
I think not. And besides, I’ve written NUMEROUS amounts of shit that has broken quad-stupidity. And nobody hates me.
…right?
You couldn’t possibly hate a lonely blogger like me could you?
